I'd like to start off on a serious note for once: The league experienced a very sad day in March of 2008 and since it was not football season (technically) the story was largely unreported. Until now. Sean Landeta, punter for many teams during his career retired on March 2, 2008. POTW flew the flags at half mast as Landeta was the last remaining Tecmo Bowl player still in the league. The following is a tribute to Landeta and the other great digital gladiators: Make sure your sound is on...
The team predictions and rankings are the best part of the draft. Why play games on the field when you can allow Yahoo to simply generate a predicted score based on fuzzy math and made-up statistics! To that end Wes has created an excel document that takes all the teams rosters and uses Yahoo's season total projected score to see which teams Yahoo thinks are the best. The following is the rankings based on the "experts" at Yahoo. Yahoo it would appear shows a strong West Coast bias for the PAC 4 teams. The letter grade is from me based on the draft.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THE COMMENT SECTION AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO GIVE US YOUR THOUGHTS
Pineapple Express B-Avery and Moore seem like gimick picks, but smart picks in the mid to late rounds.
It has to get better than the 4-10 record from 2008. Right? No doubt Yahoo and women everywhere love Tom Brady. He could easily be the best QB in the league this year, or he could return to the Tom Brady prior to Randy Moss arriving in New England, or he could get his girlfriend pregnant again. The rest of the roster is much more entertaining. The running game features Clinton Portis and Willie Parker. Ever since Denver the end zone has been more of a rumor to Portis than a place if often found himself. Willie Parker lead the NFL in rushing a few seasons ago, that same season he ranked behind Reggie Bush in fantasy points which I have never forgiven him for. Steve Smith, Donnie Avery, and Lance Moore are the WRs. Smith is still a playmaker and gives the Pineapple Express a real threat. Donnie Avery is listed on a number of sleeper lists because he had a few big games in 2008, I don't give a shit, he is a Ram and even Steven Jackson looked like crap on the Rams last year so Avery still gets the unproven tag. I predict Lance Moore loses his starting job on this roster to Nate Washington or the ageless Derrick Mason.
On defense Boat 'N Hoes will be solid, after the D line comes off their suspension that is.
Bama Black Bears A
I like it. No real weakness on this roster.
The Bama Black Bears have looked like champions at times in their history, and at times like Charlie Weiss. Will they Play Like a Champion in 2009? Yahoo seems to think so. Jay Cutler leads a Bears team that is almost devoid of talent at the WR position and the Bears have always been a run first team. Something doesn't add up here but I'm not sure what it is just yet. If Cutler can score points on the horrible team that was the 2008 Broncos he can put up points on a team that is a borderline playoff team. Coach Comer will feature Micheal Turner and Kevin Smith at RB. The combo of these two guys should prove to be the heart of his team but can Comer handle a team that is run oriented? The WRs are Roy Williams, Steve Breaston and Wes Welker. Roy may have the work ethic of Pizza the Hut but on raw physical ability alone he is worth drafting. He has also said he "May not talk to the media at all this season." Probably a good idea for him but we will miss quotes like "It is scary how close we came to scoring 40 points." when the team only scored 7. Jeremy Shockey is on the roster at the moment but expect him to be on the IR by week 3 with a sprain or with syphilis. Seriously who the hell thought it was a good idea to but that man on a team that is based in New Orleans.
Turbo Techies A-Taking a defense and TE in the first rounds yet still getting RBs you can use. Bold move.
Baconators A-
A major playmaker at every position, that alone will win some games.
Arena football has moved on from Coach Al. The 2009 Baconators will feature a legit running game with Pierre Thomas and Brian Westbrook. The two them add a ground attack to Peyton Manning, who scares me still. If Devin Hester is the kick returner then his value is huge, if not he could still produce now that the Bears has decided to field a QB. Terrell Owens should pick up where he left off, big play followed by 2 dropped passes. If only there were some way to get Coach Al to appear on T.O.'s reality show, then that piece of shit might be worth watching. It apparently wasn't enough to just have TO, Al signed the Baltimore Ravens defense which gives him Ray Lewis, another fitting player for Coach Al. Brent Celek is a name you will remember. He is for real.
Steel Dragons C-
Your lucky I don't give you an F for drafting Julius Jones and Deion Branch.
I won’t say anything about the fact he has two kickers, but it is funny. Probably as much as any team these guys could go either way this year. In 2009 they could be the Steel Dragons…or they could be the Tin Lizards again. Coach Plousis should have a tough running game with Jone-Drew and Ryan Grant. Moving out to WR we find Randy Moss (who is old but seems immune to the effects of age) and Antonio Bryant. You would have more luck trying to guess which response is going to come up in a Magic 8 Ball than you would trying to predict what the hell Bryant is going to do this year. Bernard Berrian rounds out the WR corp and shows us that the Steel Dragons have a common theme in drafting Bryant and Berrian…draft a WR from a team that does not use a QB as part of the offense. Have fun with Julius Jones.
Gusmeisters B
Good all around balance, kinda like a grade of B.
He may be mad he forgot about the draft but Yahoo likes his team (maybe that is because Yahoo picked it). Known for having one of the best running games in the league the Gusmeisters will employ some new weapons in the passing game this year. Kurt Warner only has to remain healthy to be in the top 5 QBs in the league and Greg Jennings along with Vincent Jackson are young #1 target WRs on their teams. Santonio Holmes has always had the ability to make big plays, sadly most of his big games have come in January. Great news for the Steelers, shitty news for fantasy teams. Zack Miller should be a fun target at TE because I don’t see the Raiders throwing to their non-existent WRs down the field (big assumption that Jamarcus Russell could even hit them deep, or have time for them to get down field).
Decepticons B-
McGay-hee and Muhsin Muhammad won't last the season...or even a month.
I really don’t give two shits about Yahoo’s rankings (there I said it). I think the Decepticons could easily make the playoffs in 2009 (there, I said that also). The team is loaded in the passing game with Aaron Rogers, T.J. Howismyvanilla, Calvin Johnson, and even Jason Witten. RBs look decent with Jonathan Stewart but McGahee, Fargas, Buckhalter, and Earnest Graham could all struggle to find the field so basically all four of these guys are like having 1 RB. 1 RB that takes up 4 roster spots and can’t start. I also have to give a nod to Mushin Muhammad and Isaac Bruce for not only getting drafted but both getting drafted on the same roster. They should both get their AARP discounts while traveling which saves the organization money.
Ragin' Girth of Fury B+
Playmakers at every position, even they come with baggage.
New teams are always wild cards which makes them tough to predict. What we do know is that this organization has a storied history and is one of the most successful in league history. First year coach Jim Hand has a good corp of keepers (DeAngelo, Fitzgerald, Schaub…ok not so much Schaub but you get my point). The draft added WRs Braylon Edwards and Lee Evans which should provide hours of frustration for anyone watching them. Don’t forget to add TE Kellen Winslow to that list. Ronnie Brown adds some power to the running game, and he along with DeAngelo Williams and Fitzgerald give the team enough punch to beat a lot of teams…but don’t look for them in the playoffs just yet.
Frat-tastics C+
Grade could be higher but a lot of unproven players coupled with old washed up players.
Last year the Frat-tastics put together an impressive run to not only make the playoffs but also make it to the Super Bowl…but that is where the run ended. In 2009 it is hard to say where this roster is going. The team no doubt has a lot of talent but it seems they have more question marks. Eddie Royal was a good WR with Cutler, but what about Orton? Torry Holt is old. Ok so that is not a question it is a statement. Derrick Ward was good behind the Giants A-list offensive line but the running lanes that use to be big enough to drive a truck through will now only be big enough to squeeze a scooter through now that he is in Tampa. Knowshon should be the Broncos primary RB but that doesn’t mean new Denver coach Josh McDaniels knows what the RB position is for (see his track record while coaching in New England).
Fatboys A
Santana Moss isn't special but he is a #1WR. Everything else you picked was top notch.
Still turning around the mess of a program that Byrd built coach Fudge and the Fatboys just missed the playoffs in 2008. The 2009 Fatboys look very similar to Fatboys version2008. Chris Johnson should add more yards out of the RB position and with Carson Palmer healthy Chad “don’t call me Johnson” 85 should post numbers that make him worth starting. The biggest gains the team made were in adding kick return man Ted Ginn Jr. and the highly underrated Titans defense. TE John Carlson didn’t do much until late in 2008 but if he picks up where he left off then the Fatboys could be in position for another playoff run. I almost forgot, they have Santana Moss who is handicapped by deer-in-headlights QB Jason Campbell…who ironically coach Fudge also drafted.
Tenn. Valley Vipers I
I'll let you guys grade my draft
The team Yahoo loves to hate. Despite their career record the Vipers are seldom picked to win any matchups during the season based on Yahoo predicted points (or by members of the league that vote on the games). It should come as no surprise that when given the chance to predict an entire season the Vipers are picked to be one of the worst teams in the entire league. Breaking news, Yahoo just shit on the Vipers again. If I could go back and find my POTW from this time last year I would copy and paste it right here because coach Swirl assembled the same team he had in 2008. EVERY started with the exception of 1 was a starter for the Vipers in 2008. If they were a college team you’d have to say they were a favorite due to the fact they have 7 of 9 returning starters. The Vipers have enjoyed a lot of success in recent years so you could say that getting the old gang back together is a good idea…but the old gang has never raised a championship trophy so you could say that they are not that good.
Yahoo just announced that if this team makes the playoffs they will be dropped from the league
Fergs B+
Really had something going there...then guys like Hixon and Pat White showed up...
The only time you will find the Fergs at the bottom of a ranking is when Yahoo gets to rank the teams. The team with the 2nd best winning percentage in the history of the league is not likely to finish this far back in the standings…nevermind, I just looked at their roster. While Roddy White and Steve Slaton appear to be solid players I can’t get excited about Tony Romo. He must have really not wanted to be the Ken to Jessica’s Barbie Good job Romo, and good luck staying healthy past week 6. Romo may scare you as an opposing QB, but just wait a few months and you won’t have to worry about him. I couldn’t help but notice Thomas “the train” Jones found a team so early in the draft. Maybe autodraft had something to do with that maybe not, but I would have to blame autodraft for washout picks like Domenik Hixon, Pat White, and Mark Bradley. I would also like to thank autodraft for taking a kicker so early in the draft that autodraft was still able to pick up a second kicker before the last round. Ferg has also historically used about 8 defenses over the course of one season. In 2009 he will try to use a big name defense but I don’t think the dinosaur* Patriots are going to scare too many people
* 
Not this kinda dinosaur
THIS kinda dinosaur
da Bears A
Mallards B
Good start to the draft but it got a little odd with Crayton and Miles Austin showing up.
The Chicago Cubs of the Alabama League. You’d call them the lovable losers if not for the fact they have appeared in a Super Bowl. Yahoo has never shown much love for the Mallards but this is a tombstone pile driver of a slam to the organization. The Mallards will field arguably their best crop of WRs to date, and they didn’t lose anything from their league leading rushing game. Owen Daniels should produce points at the TE position and Percy Harvin provides points in the return game…at least until he is arrested or gets a hang nail. Joe Flacco doesn’t seem to be anyone you’d be afraid of. I would actually be much more afraid of Shane Falco:
Shane Falco would play for you for elevendy-billion dollars. Texa$
The WRs were mentioned before and it is worth noting again that Dwyane Bowe and Anthoney Gonzalez should be fantasy starters for most any team. Something the land locked Mallards have lacked in recent years (recent being ever).
So let us review:
Road to Auburn Conference:
Baconators
Gusmeisters
Decepticons
Frat-tastics
Fergs
Appalachian Conference:
Steel Dragons
Ragin’ Girth of Fury
Tenn. Valley Vipers
Da Bears
Mallards
PAC 4:
Pineapple Express
Bama Black Bears
Turbo Techies
Fatboys
Conference Champs. Wildcard
Your turn! Use the comment section to rate the Conferences the way you think they will end
See you after week 1...
A B- that hurts Swirl. I did look at Avery and think what was I thinking, but my strategy was sound on the others. New Orleans passes, so get Lance Moore, Pittsburgh runs so get a RB!!
ReplyDeleteyeah new orleans passess....to colston
ReplyDelete