Week 7

Streaks are the name of the game at the moment. The Bama Black Bears were strong out of the gate but have turned around to lose 2 straight games. The Pineapple Express was headed to a season just as bad as last years nightmare until they went on a 4 game win streak, the Fergs also showed why they are one of the best teams in league history and have put together their own 4 game win streak.

NEW FEATURES
Scroll down to the end of the game reports this week for the return of the BSc Rankings!

Headlines will be posted below the scores for each game

Damn spell check is not working for some reason...and I'm a writer not an editor so tough shit

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#1 Turbo Techies 151------- #2 Tenn. Valley Vipers 156

FEEL THE SNAKE BITE ENTER YOUR VEIN. VIPERS WIN IN A HISTORIC COMBACK

If you didn't stick around to follow this game on Monday night then you missed the biggest comeback in the history of our league. Coach Wes was frustraded by Dree Brees throwing 3 interceptions but he did rebound to score 3 TDs so he can't be too upset by that, despite it costing him a win. It was that kinda game for the Techies, it was not meant to be despite a 151 point game by their team.

The Turbo Techies were all but celebrating their victory when DeSean Jackon, David Akers, and the Eagles Def posted 69 points against the Redskins to pull out a late win for the Tenn. Valley Vipers. It was the single biggest single game comeback win in the history of our league. You really have to give Redskins owner Daniel Snyder a lot of credit for this win. If not for Snyder running his real NFL team like it was a fantasy team the Redskins may not be such a discrace to the NFL. Since he has taken over as owner that franchise has been through 5 head coaches and 10 QBs. Excellent show of stability and decision making on the part of him and his staff.

Daniel Snyder is a great business man...unless your in the business of winning NFL games

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#4 Pineapple Express 141-------------- #6 Mallards 87

EXPRESS ROLL OVER MALLARDS

The Mallards left over 50 points on their bench in week 7. Not that it would have mattered much as even with those points they would still have lost. The Mallards have posted one of the highest point totals in the league this year, but have failed to overtake the dormant Tenn. Valley Vipers for the #1 spot in the Appalachian Conference due to number of loses. Bye weeks no doubt hurt the ducks as Dolphin QB Chad Henne made his fantasy debut. It was not a memorable experience as he posted only 6 points. Add to that the Mallards desire to run a two TE system (always a good way to post low points) and the Mallards failed to break 100 points. It isn't that you can't win with a 2 TE system, many teams have done it, but it is very hard to win unless you have 2 A list TEs. The Dolphins Anthony Fasano is not that guy. Including the defense the Mallards only had 2 players in double digits. Good thing for them they didn't play the Baconators this week.

Ecco was about the only Dolphin the Mallards didn't start in week 7. Personally I like Ecco more than Chad Henne or Anthony Fasano







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#3 Gusmeisters 142---------------- Decepticons 86

TRASHED! DECEPTICONS EMBARASSED BY GUSMEISTERS

Simply take a look at this game on Statracker and you will see right away why one of these teams in 4-3 and ranked and the other one is 3-4 and unranked. Despite Aaron Rogers dominating the worthless Browns defense the rest of the Decepticons were pathetic. The Gusmeisters tore through the Decepticons about like Optimus Prime does...although Coach CT's Decepticons were not able to keep it as close as the real Decepticons did. As far as team names go "Decepticons" is clearly cooler than "Autobots" but sadly we all know the bad guys never win in the end. The only thing POTW was missing here was an Ohio State player being on the Decepticons roster.
"Gusmeisters Prime" reduced the Decepticons to scrap metal

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da Bears 70------------------------ Fatboys 105

FATBOYS DEVOUR dA BEARS

Coach Doyle correctly pointed out that da Bears were 2-0 since moving to the two TE system. Now they are 2-1. da Bears TEs combined for 16 points which truthfully isn't that bad for players at a position some teams simply hope to get 1 point out of but da Bears defense(s) were a blast to watch. In rare POTW fashion I will start with a bench player. Coach Doyle benched the Falcons defense, who scored -6 points. Good call one would think...no so fast my friend. da Bears started the Bears actual defense and they battled their way to an impressive -10 point game. Add to that Andre Johnson ending the game from a local hospital, Hines Ward again showing little if any fantasy value, and you have the makings of a fine day of fantasy football hell. 2 TE system nothing, I wish da Bears could have started both of their defenses. The Chicago Bears defense without Urlacher it appearing to be an overrated creature. But we should have seen this coming...POTW is proud to present: "Things from Chicago that Suck"
The Cubs. Indeed no list of Chicago failures is complete without them on it. As the sign says, "Not all pain is gain"

Former Florida Gator's transvestite Joakim Noahla is currently with the Bulls in Chicago

Professional douche bag Kanye West is from Chicago....an apparently his head has been a landing site for UFOs

This fraud is also from Chicago (not really...technically he is from Africa and lived in Hawaii for awhile but who's counting)

This angry beast is also from Chicago. Fittingly enough she married the second guy on the list and has proven to be quite a con artist herself. Ask her about the Black Panther party, ACORN or Americorps...then ask yourself if you want her anywhere near the White House

Lesson learned? Don't take anything from Chicago, it is overrated and in the end will do a lot more harm than good.

----VS----

Baconators 110------------------- Ragin' Girth of Fury 126

THE "GHOST SHIP" TEAM SAILS PAST ANOTHER OPPONENT

The Baconators posted over 100 points and look to be on a roll. I look up and down this roster but to be honest I am running out of material. The Ragin' Girth of Fury didn't even start one of their WR spots (not that that comes as much of a surprise) and still walked away with this victory. Perhaps the best part of this process is that Wes has said he will start putting together a team of free agents to see if they can outscore the Baconators. No doubt an asshole thing to do but you can fully expect POTW to follow that crap.

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Steel Dragons 133--------------- #8 Frat-tastics 109

DRAGONS SPOIL CHESTER'S RETURN TO POTW

In a street fight to maintain respectability and a shot at the playoffs the Steel Dragons proved to be too much for the Frat-tastics. The Frat-tastics were hampered in the running game due to Knowshown Moreno having a bye week. The loss of this RB meant that an old friend of POTW, Chester Taylor, made his glorious return not only to the fantasy starting roster, but straight to the pages of POTW. On behalf of the POTW staff let me say, Welcome back Chester! Chester the Molester's best play came on the last series of the game when a screen pass bounced off his hands and into the hands of a Steelers players who took it 75 yards for a TD. Excellent work big guy, hope to see you again real soon.

Chester did not go to Ohio State (sadly) but he did go to Toldeo, which is pretty damn close

----VS----

#7 Fergs 154-------------------------#5 Bama Black Bears 137

FERGS KEEP IMPRESSING IN FERG HATERES CLUB GRUDGE MATCH

While the luster of the Ferg Haters Club seems to have faded in recent years due in part to Coach Ferg not talking as much as he use to (and a certain Turbo Techies coach playing the part of Lane Kiffin) this is still a classic matchup of two of the leagues oldest franchises. All in all the Bama Black Bears didn't look to bad with the exception of gimick WR Steve Breaston. In all fairness to Steve he is not so much of a gimick as a poor man's Anquan Boldin or Larry Fitzgerald. We have seen on numerous occasions where he posts big numbers but we have also seen these little 3 point games more times than we care to count.

BSc Rankings

It is that time of year again, time for the BSc standings to come out! Of course they don't matter but that is the point! The system as you may remember is based only on points since we all know a computer using a math formula is the best way to determine the best team in the world!

#1 Turbo Techies
#2 Tenn. Valley Vipers

#3 Mallards

#4 Fergs

#5 Pineapple Express

#6 Ragin' Girth of Fury

#7 Gusmeisters

#8 Frat-tastics

Coach's Poll

This is what your peer's think of you...

#1 Turbo Techies

#2 Pineapple Express

#3 Mallards

#4 Tenn. Valley Vipers

#5 Gusmeisters

#6 Fergs

#7 Bama Black Bears

#8 Decepticons

See you after Week 7...

Week 6

So in a 14 team league it is still very possible, and likely, that numerous teams will score over 150 points. Hell these days scoring 160 points is not even a given win since the disparity in the NFL is at an all-time high certain players on certain teams are able to put up video game numbers and single handily destroy your fantasy team. Buckle your seat belts, should be a bumpy ride from here on in. I would say that the scores this week were "video game like" but my Madden settings are accurate enough to where I can't really throw 5 TDs in a half and return 2 kicks in one game...

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#5 Pineapple Express 165----------#2 Bama Black Bears 130

No one game fully explains what I was pointing out in my opening statements better than this game. The Pineapple Express had 1 player over 50, 1 player over 40, and two players over 20...combined with 1 player at 1, 1 player at zero, and the defense in negative points. The Bama Black Bears answered with 1 player over 35, and 2 players over 25...and a WR and RB well under 10. Welcome to the 2009 season. If like it now your going to love it when the NFL loses it's salary cap and the amount of disparity between teams gets even larger. By 2011 look for the Titans, Rams, and Lions to all be farm clubs for the Cowboys and Patriots. What does this have to do with fantasy football and why the hell am I writing about it in this game? This is the future. Teams led by one or two players posting video game numbers against teams that don't have an NFL player on their roster.

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Baconators 95------------------------- #6 Mallards 159

At this point the Baconators are more of a side show than an opponent. But the show is a good one. Each week we all gather around Statracker or our iPhone app. and watch to see if the Baconators will score over 100 points. The Baconators this week pushed the 100 point mark but came up just 5 points short. The Baconators backup Ben Roethlisberger stepped up big in his first (and last) appearance in our league this year as he scored 29 points. The Ravens defense added a bit of comedy to the show by posting -2 points. I guess the old man at QB and Adrian Peterson were just too much for "knife fighter" Ray Lewis and his band of late/cheap hit thugs.

Somebody actually painted this farce.

Jesus must be saying, "It is ok it stab people to death as long as you make the Pro Bowl the next year."

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#8 Fergs 173--------------------------#1 Swirls 119

The Tenn. Valley Vipers donned their Swirls throwback jerseys in week 6 and then proceeded to throw up all over the field. Nothing says, "We didn't really want to be ranked #1 anyways" more than getting hammered by over 50 points. It was the second week in a row the Vipers were out of the game by half time in the early game on Sunday...consistent at least. With this team they don't keep you around waiting to see if they will hit that last second field goal for a win, they just don't bother taking part in the game at all.

On the other hand; don't look now but the Fergs have won 3 in a row and are first in the Road to Auburn conference...

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Gusmeisters 162---------------------- Steel Dragons 156

The battle of respectability raged well into Monday night as these two teams swapped points as Steel Dragons QB Philp Rivers threw to Gusmeisters WR Vincent Jackson. If you have played this game for 1 week you know how that one ends. The fact that a WR can score more points for fewer yards and gets a point for the reception resulted in the Steel Dragons falling short again this week. Call me Mr. Brightside but the fact that the Steel Dragons score 3x as many points this week as they did last week shows that Coach Plousis has this team at least pointed in the right direction. It is a shame for him that that direction is currently unranked.

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da Bears 152--------------------#3 Decepticons 92

The Decepticons came into this game ranked #3 in the land and leading the Road to Auburn conference. They quickly transformed into the Baconators and laid a 92 point egg. The Decepticons have been all over the board this year as they have won some big games, lost some close games, and now done this...shit the bed. The highlight of the week (for me at least) was Willis McGahee posting a brutal .3 points, thus showing us that he is Willis McGahee after all. Titans WR Nate Washington posted -1 point and it is a damn good thing you don't receive negative points for dropped passes or he would have ended the day with over 5 negative points (as would all of the Titans).

Someone (some idiot) thought it would be cool to create a custom Willis McGahee cover for Madden 09. It isn't.

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Fatboys 121---------------------- #4 Turbo Techies 181

Smell that? The sound and smell of bacon and fat cooking like an egg on a sidewalk in Arizona? That would be the Fatboys season burning to the ground. The Fatboys has lost 4 in a row and with dismal point totals over that spread they could keep this train wreck rolling along nicely with 5 or 6 loses in a row. In all fairness to the Fatboys they did start 2 Redskins which the Redskins themselves don't want to do (one of which was the Redskins defense, although against the Chiefs that is a good idea). The Fatboys have really not played bad over this 4 games nightmare, they have just been grossly outplayed by their opponents. In the end the reasons won't matter much because Coach Fudge find himself in a big hole. The Fatboys are 2 games back in the PAC 4, which may be the toughest conference in the league.

Scared of swine flu? Probably not. This man is showing you what he thinks about the Fatboys team. His mask would indicate that the Fatboys stink very badly.

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#7 Ragin' Girth of Fury 146---------Frat-tastics 166

I made a deal with myself that I would not write about any game that involved players on a BYE week starting but then the Monday night game started...

The Frat-tastics were well on their way to their fourth loss of the season when Eddie Royal decided to not only play like a keeper but like a super keeper. Royal ran a kick AND a punt back for a TD and while Jim may have missed it all it was enough to route the RGoF once and for all. Good thing he ran back those kicks because he factored very little into the offense prior to the returns, but then again who cares. When you get over 30 points from 2 plays why both with 3 plays.er

See you after week 7...

Week 5

Upset week. Of the 7 games that were played in week 5 only 1 of them featured both teams that were ranked, and in only 1 game did the ranked to come out victorious.

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#6 Decepticons 130---------#7 Steel Dragons 50

Coach Plousis was right, there were no deceptive tactics here. The only thing the Steel Dragons coach was wrong about was who would be running over who. The Decepticons took an early lead and never looked back. In many ways it does not surprise me too much that a team lead by Jake Delhomme would be defeated but was does surprise me is how inept the rest of the team was. Randy Moss had as many interceptions (1) has he did receptions in Sunday's game...no, the Steel Dragons did not get points for Moss' interception. Julius Jones returned to his classic form and posted a pathetic 4 points, while Bernard Berrian's 7 point game reminded all of us why we can't trust him, Michael Jenkins posted an awful 5 points despite his team blowing out the 49ers, and even when Brett Farve is throwing him the ball. With all of this super talent to choose from finding a clear cut go-to-guy for POTW is hard...then Chris Cooley came through in the clutch. Cooley, an admitted fantasy football player, must have been playing against himself in his league this week as he failed to catch a single pass for the first time in 5 years. No shit, Cooley has had at least 1 catch in every game he has played in since his rookie season. Truth be told, with so many crappy TEs in the league I really don't even feel like giving Cooley a hard time. I know a lot of TEs that only manage 1 or 2 receptions for an entire month.

A group of silly looking creatures (most likely Decepticons) stand over their recently slain dragon. The dragon in this picture probably put up a much bigger fight than the Steel Dragons did.

But wait there's more!!! When you post 50 points you are a POTW legend, and speaking of legends POTW continues it's Ohio State POTW with a tribute to:
Michael Jenkins! Just the latest in our series of Ohio State players to fail your fantasy team! In this picture he appears to have a lot of buckeye stickers on his helmet...which means this picture must have taken place after the Navy/Ohio/Alcorn State/Youngstown State/Ohio County Community College games.

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Pineapple Express 159-------- #1 Tenn. Valley Vipers 106

Writing POTW takes some time; hours and sometimes a few days to piece it all together. It is for this reason that I try to start writing a review as soon as I can so that I can meet some fictional deadline that does not exist (unless you all don't have a POTW by Thursday, in which case I hear about it). In an attempt to help me get POTW out sooner in week 5 the Vipers allowed me to start writing this review by halftime of the early game on Sunday morning. The Vipers were not awful, they were never even in the game. Aaron Brown scored zero points but it really would not be fair to make him the POTW since nobody even knows who or what the hell he is. It would be much more fitting that Coach Swirl be the POTW for even starting such a waste of skin. DeSean Jackson would save his coach in the end by posting a baffling 1 point. Truth be told I don't have a F-ing clue how that even happened which makes it hard to write POTW for him.

...remember this DeSean Jackson moment? No? Well this was one of 2 times he dropped the ball before crossing the end zone. Despite a lot of potential there is still a lot of potential for disaster with him.

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Baconators 92----------------- #2 Bama Black Bears 102

The Baconators didn't even bother to start a kicker. Nice move. Nothing says, "Not only am I going to lose but I don't give a shit" more than not starting a player. I guess the Baconators are so overloaded with talent that they could not afford to cut a single player to get a kicker. Understandable from a team that has only broken 100 points once this season. However, had Coach Al decided to go to the free agent pool and simply take the highest scoring kicker he could he would have received 11 points from whoever the Seahawks kicker is...nice job Mike Shula.

On an unrelated note I am just going to point out that the Bama Black Bears won by 8 points last week when the Ragin' Girth of Fury didn't start 2 players on BYE week and this week the Bama Black Bears had 2 players score negative points. Watching this team win makes me feel like watching this year's Notre Dame* team win...your going to have to do better than that to impress us.

Jimmy Clausen can't wait to join the Bama Black Bears. He is seen here sending a clear message to Coach Comer that he already has a boat and a bathing suit so living in Mobile would be a perfect fit for him. As to what ELSE this picture says about Jimmy Clausen......I'm not going to go there but I'm sure you can insert your own caption

* I can hear Comer cussing my name right now as I just compared his team to Notre Dame. I'll expect some hate mail related to that about 2 minutes after Comer read this

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#3 Gusmeisters 138-----------Ragin' Girith of Fury 174

"Did that really just happen?" I'm not sure if those were the exact words to come out of Coach Gusty's mouth at the end of this game but it would have been appropriate if they had. I am not even sure if Jim reads POTW but based on his comments I would say he doesn't. Gusty on the other hand does and when WR Miles Austin posted 50 fantasy points he had to think the Gusmeisters were a shoe in to win...not so fast my friend. Despite Miles Austin posting more fantasy points in one game than he had career points coming into the game the rest of the Gusmeisters passing attack was pathetic. Brett Farve, now a 40 year old QB, posted only 16 points. WRs Mark Clayton (not the Tecmo Bowl era Miami Dolphins Clayton, although that would be funny) and Santonio Holmes did what we expect them to do. Be inconsistent. With all that was going wrong with these 3 players fantasy standout Larry Johnson proved once again he would NOT be outdone when it comes to sucking and posted only 5 points, barely beating out the Gusmeisters kicker for lowest point total of the day. Coach Gusty should thank Miles Austin for making this game look remotely respectable.
The last Mark Clayton you wanted on a team you were controlling was wearing this helmet. Even the 8bit Dolphin logo appears to be smiling as a digital Dan Marino could easily toss the ball 100 yards to Mark Clayton and/or Mark Duper...those were the good ole' days of video game football

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#5 Mallards 117------------------da Bears 135

Don't look now but da Bears may be about to wake up. In all fairness to Coach Doyle this team really started off the season missing some key pieces. Marshawn Lynch was suspended then Donovan McNabb was injured. Week 5 marked the return of both of these players and while neither of them started da Bears still scored 135 points and took the win. Look out for da Bears now that they are at full strength. The Mallards on the other hand are headed in the opposite direction. Keeping 3 RBs would make you a strong running team, or so one would think. With a number of Mallards still on the DL the once strong Mallard ground game churned out a lowly 10 points. The Mallards air attack was again consistent but without any superstar performances to offset a pathetic ground attack the Mallards could not keep pace with da Bears. Your probably wondering who the POTW for this game is and sadly there really won't be one. The Mallards fielded RBs LeSean McCoy and Kevin Faulk and since neither of them is a starer it is not fair to beat them up too much. LeSean McCoy however did score as many points (4) as he has capital letters in his name, which is a fun fact.

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#8 Fatboys 85----------------------Fergs 113

So maybe the Fatboys knew what they were doing by attempting to trade away half their roster. The loss to the Fergs will mark the third loss in a row for the Fatboys and will drop them to last in the PAC 4. On Sunday nothing went right for this team as the passing game and rushing game were equally pathetic. First round RB Chris Johnson couldn't find any running room against a Colts defense that the Dolphins were somehow able to run all over and WR Derrick Mason mailed in another zero catch performance. Keep in mind this is the same Derrick Mason that had to be talked out of retirement to even play this season. Perhaps the most entertaining part to this debacle was the fact that while scoring well under 100 points Coach Fudge pretty much started his optimal lineup. In closing I would like to point out that the Fergs defense scored negative points, making him the second team to win this week with negative players.

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Frat-tastics 141------------ #4 Turbo Techies 139

A rematch from the 2008 Super Bowl and the Frat-tastics looked to get a measure of revenge against the Turbo Techies. The Turbo Techies are finding that life in 2009 is much tough than it was in previous years. In the end the Turbo Techies would post a very respectable score, and still maintain a very high season high point total, but WR Laveranues Coles continued to prove that he is the problem everywhere he goes. It was only last season when he complained about Brett Farve, now he has not complained about Carson Palmer this year but week in and week out he astounds fans by having more drops than receptions. In a close game with the Frat-tastics, and with most of the Turbo Techies playing their ass off, Coles dropped multiple passes in a 2 point loss for the Techies. "Stone Hands" is alive and well an playing for the Turbo Techies.

The Turbo Techies are in some desperate need of motivation at this point and Owen Schmitt is just the guy to do it. Who is Owen Schmitt you ask? Well let's just say he is like Wes drinking Jagrmeister and heading to a Metallica show:

See you after Week 6...