POTW Spotlight: Marshawn Lynch

Welcome to POTW Spotlight. A new series to gives folks something to read and to report on those great stories that for some reason or another miss the regular POTW reports. Check back often for more POTW Spotlights.

Marshawn Lynch is only in his second season. His second season will begin in about week 4 as he has already managed to get suspended for the first 3 games for violating the league personal conduct policy. No truth to the rumor the violation was the fact that he has dread locks that look like they have not been washed in 15 years or the fact he has a gold grill:


Career Highlights:
June 2006: While not an arrest Lynch is the accidental target of a drive-by shooting. The gunmen shot up his car only to find out that Lynch was not their target...the gunmen called Lynch's mom to apologize (I couldn't make this shit up)

January 2007: accused of sexual assault by his former girlfriend. Arrested but never charged

March 2007: Good new for Lynch! A judge lifts the restraining order that his ex-girlfriend filed against him. Note that it was lifted because it was "improperly obtained" not because Lynch is a harmless person (see above photo)

June 2008: Pled guilty to a hit-and-run accident in which he ran over a female pedestrian

February 2009: Lynch is arrested again when police find him in car with two companions smoking pot...and in possession of a loaded firearm (don't bother asking if he had a permit for the weapon)

April 2009: Obviously overwhelmed by his track record in only one season in the league Commissioner Roger Goodell rewards Lynch by giving him the first 3 games of the 2009 season off.


FUN WITH MARSHAWN:
At the 1:35 min. mark Lynch pats himself vigorously on the back and celebrates with his friends when he learns of "spell check" on his computer. No doubt spell check is a God send for Lynch since he did attend Berkley. That's right folks, this guy attended Cal.

Week 1

Week 1, time to let the real shit talking begin. Everyone is very excited about the new season, well everyone except the poor SOB that purchased tickets to the first Cowboys game ever inside the new billion dollar "Jerry Dome", bought $60 worth of concessions and found out that this is his seat:



At $75 a pop these seats are a real bargain...if you want something to prop your feet on, and you don't really want to watch the game anyways. I should charge people $50 to come over to my house and watch the game from behind my couch. Excellent work Jerry Jones, you greedy bastard. Fail.

VS

Tenn. Valley Vipers----Baconators

It seems that these two teams play on opening week every year. The game is usually decided by one player posting a stupid amount of points and over shadowing the rest of both rosters. The 2009 version of the game would feature something new. The Baconators, once called arena football, were held back by their WRs as T.O. and some guy called Greg Camarillo both posted poor performances. T.O. was probably busy trying to act, produce, and direct his hidious "reality" TV show...although lets face it, nothing about T.O. is based in ANY reality. Reality does however bite for Coach Al as he now needs to find some production from a position that once took him to a championship.

VS
Bama Black Bears-------Frat-tastics

I really don't know where to start with this game. During halftime of the Bears/Packers game I was pretty sure I had a masterpiece of an article ready to go, thanks to Jay Cutler trying to throw for the cycle as he threw interceptions to a DB, LB, and even the rare DT interception (pictured). It was the very thing POTW is made of. Cutler however came back in the second half to post good numbers and ended with a positive fantasy day. Cutler's comeback performance mirroed the comeback of the Bama Black Bears themselves as they rallied during the double Monday Night Football games to spank the Frat-tastics worse than our nationals wanted to spank us when we were in The House. Coach Askew is desperate for a RB at that was evident when Glenn Coffee posted a mighty -0.03 points. Your not in pre-season anymore Glenn.

When this guy intercepts a pass of yours you should really re-evaluate where you are throwing the football

VS
Fergs----------------------Gusmeisters

Despite how the roster was put together the Gusmesiters have some real firepower. In a game that featured 2 of the most successful teams in league history the Gusmesiters came away with an impressive win. Coach Ferg's claim that his kids could cut into the management of the his fantasy team could have been validated as Kevin Walter did not play for the Texans but he did start for the Fergs. That never ends well. In the end don't feel too bad for the Fergs; Steve Slaton will produce more in weeks to come and Tony Romo is a MUCH better QB when he does not have to worry about giving every other pass to T.O. to keep Owens from having his period all over the field and in the locker room and on the sidelines and during the press conference, and in his driveway at home while talking to reporters. The Cowboys have learned what the 49ers, and Eagles learned (and the Bills will learn)...you are a better team without that cancer in the locker room.





VS
Decepticons-----------Pineapple Express

What does one week tell us? It have have just told us the the Pineapple Express has derailed. The PAC-4 already has 1 less team than the other conferences and with an epic poor performance against the Decepticons in week 1 it may be a conference that only has 3 teams in it. Coach Overton wasted no time in throwing out pick slips to many of his players that were still in pre-season mode but only time will tell if these guys can get the Pineapple Express to that rare pinnacle of scoring at least 100 points. WR Steve Smith said it best, "Let's be honest, we sucked"* . Yes Steve, you did suck, all of you sucked. Tom Brady would become Tom Brady and make the final score look nice but he need some help from the rest of the roster.

*Steve Smith actually DID say that in response to the Panthers week 1 performance...but POTW believes he was also referring to the Pineapple Express
This is what Coach Overton's team looked like when the Decpeticons were done with them


VS
Fatboys----------------Mallards

Pigs vs ducks. Auburn fans rejoice at this barnyard matchup. In the end the Mallards would lose, again. The difference this time was the the Mallards lost in a new way, their RBs were held in check while positions such as QB and WR (positions long considered just a rumor to the Mallards) posted winning numbers. Anthony Gonzalez didn't last long in his much anticipated debut with the Mallards as he quickly hand gernaded a knee while running a route in the first quarter...a hyped up WR going out early is usually news, unless you are talking about the Mallards in which case we expect it. Look for Dwayne Bowe to shatter his leg by week 3.







VS
Ragin' Girth of Fury-----------da Bears

Coach Hand makes his debut against one of the best teams in league history, and one of the early season favorites to win the championship this year. The roster of da Bears looks tough...until you get to their defense. The Tampa Bay Bucs defense is a top 5 defense, 5 years ago. In week 1 the Tampa Bay Bucs defense achieved the milestone of scoring negative points. You score negative points you can bet your ass POTW will write about you. With the senile Monte Kiffin helping his son Lane get their teeth kicked in by UCLA the Bucs defense looked lost against the Cowboys. The best part about the Bucs defense that you can pretty much have your way with them. From running the ball to passing there is really no way in which the Bucs can stop you. The defensive roster is a list of players who are either well past their prime, or never had a prime to begin with. The new head coach of Tampa Bay is from Kansas State, and it would appear he brought that feared Kansas State defense with him to the Bucs.





VS
Steel Dragons---------Turbo Techies

I would have expected a lot more shit talking from these two since they both usually have not problem telling everyone just how good they are. I must admit that Coach Plousis has backed off in recent years (although recent years win-loss totals may have something to do with that) but Coach Wes talks enough for the entire league. In the end the Steel Dragons may have just had the bad luck of playing against Drew Brees when Brees was given the privaledge of playing against the Detroit Lions, who after giving up 6 TD passes in week 1 look to be in mid-season form. It was probably the best game of the night despite that as the game was not over until past midnight Monday night. Both of these teams will have wins in their future.

See you after week 2...