Week 13

Let's just start off with the accolades:

Congrats to the Pineapple Express. 2009 PAC 4 Champions!








Congrats to the Tenn. Valley Vipers. 2009 Appalachian Conference Champions!












...and of course. Congrats to Alabama. 2009 SEC Champions! Roll Tide!

(I don't care what Nike thinks, this logo is epic)









----VS----
#5 Mallards 96------------------------#4 Fergs 143
FERGS SHOOT DOWN MALLARDS

On the first week of duck season (by my count) the Mallards were on the menu. The win for the Fergs means that in 2009 there will not be a conference championship game-so thank you to the Fergs for giving me that little early Christmas Day gift. The Mallards came up short in almost every area, as the injuries they have been delt all season long are finally wearing the team down as they head down the stretch run.

----VS----
Decepticons 182----------------------#4 Frat-tastics 124

DECEPTICONS REPORT FRAT-TASTICS TO NATIONALS

The Frat-tastics needed only a win to force a conference championship game against the Fergs and at the very least to put themselves in the wildcard spot for THE playoffs, but, the Decepticons put together one of their best games all year and systematically took the Frat-tastics apart. The game did feature the fantasy debut of something called, "Ryan Fitzpatrick", which sounds like a long lost character from Saved by the Bell but turns out to be the Buffalo Bills new QB. The same Bills that fired their coach in mid-season.

----VS----
#1 Pineapple Express 84--------#7 Fatboys 146
FATBOYS STAY ALIVE

The Fatboys have had an up and down season and in order to make the playoffs they need to end the regular season on a high note. On Sunday they got that note started off right. The Fatboys, fighting for their playoff lives, crushed the Pineapple Express ending the longest winning streak in the league this year. Even Tom Brady putting up his typical 25+ points was not enough to save the Express as their Vikings defense was about as effective at stopping the Arizona Cardinals as the Gators were at stopping Alabama.

----VS----
#2 Tenn. Valley Vipers 131-----------da Bears 137

BEARS DEVOUR SNAKES

In a battle of creatures that don't exist in the winter it was da Bears outlasting the Vipers. Don't let the score fool you, the Vipers were awful in this game. The Vipers dropped their second straight games, and their 3rd in their last 5 games. Reggie Wayne, Reggie Bush, and Kevin Boss all failed to score double digits which safely put them behind kicker David Akers for points scored on the week. If you want to have a losing record, let you kicker outscore you position players. As bad as it was for the Vipers it was that good for da Bears. The win keeps Coach Doyle's team in the hunt for a NIT bid provided they can win this week.








----VS----
Baconators 97----------------------#6 Gusmeisters 120

SURE

The Baconators have been a little up and a lot down this year, always managing to stay towards the bottom of the Road to Auburn Conference. The Gusmeisters on the other hand put together an important win this week and are a front runner for the wildcard headed into the last week. At least the Baconators play the Turbo Techies this week which should provide some off the field fire works.









----VS----
Ragin' Girth of Fury 116----------Turbo Techies 100

ONE HAND TIED BEHIND THEIR BACKS

The Fury were able to take down the Turbo Techies in week 13...with only 1 RB. DeAngelo Williams was inactive for this week's game and Coach Hand didn't even need to bother benching him in order to make sure the Turbo Techies were kept in a tie for last place in the league. Normally you would think I have a lot to say about this game but it really was such a sad matchup between two last place teams that I don't feel like piling on.

----VS----
Steel Dragons 127--------------#8 Bama Black Bears 123

<---picture of a bed. Guess what those brown spots all over the bed are.....

If a picture is worth a thousand words than this is the longest write-up in POTW history. The Bama Black Bears were in control of the wildcard just 3 weeks ago then they (see picture of bed) with a three game losing streak.

Not sure who the spot on the bed are from specifically but out guess would be Jay Cutler.

UPDATE: Turns out Cutler tried to hit the bed but was intercepted by the window, fall, floor, heater, and even dropped one down his own leg.

BSc Standings

1 Turbo Techies *

2 Fergs

3 Tenn. Valley Vipers

4 Mallards

5 Pineapple Express

6 Gusmeisters

7 Frat-tastics

8 Fatboys

* no shit, I'm not making this up

POTW Heisman Poll

With the Heisman Award going out on Saturday, and with Notre Dame naming Brian Kelly their new head coach (probably by the time you read this) expect the Heisman voters to all start writing crap about "waking echoes"* or "stirring ghost"* and re-send all of the Heisman ballots to look something like this:

1. QB Notre Dame Joe Montana

2. QB Notre Dame Joe Theismann

3. QB Notre Dame Rick Mirer

4. QB Notre Dame Ron Powles

5. QB Notre Dame Daryl Lamonica **

Award Show to be hosted by Lou Holtz, with special guest Brady Quinn, and appearances by Jimmy Clausen and Golden Tate

* funny that everything to do with Notre Dame tradition invokes visions of things that are dead and/or empty

**Daryl loses some ground because the average Notre Dame voter can't remember seeing him on NBC or in an NCAA video game in which his ratings were about 10-15 points higher than they should have been

See you after week 14, the final week of the regular season...