Week 2

Week 2 is done and gone in wild fashion. In a normal year fantasy teams (just like real teams) tend to get off to slow and sloppy starts as it takes a few weeks for the offense to get in rhythm. It would not appear that this is the case in 2009 as teams has come out of the gate looking like they are in mid-season form. If they are not in mid-season form and this is just a warm up then I guess we can expect to see fantasy teams scoring in the 200s every week...

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#1 Gusmeisters------------------#5 Bama Black Bears

I guess this is what I get for making this the game of the week. The Gusmeisters and Bama Black Bears attempted to one-up each other for worse outings by a player. Greg Jennings apparently got hurt (or got lost on his way to the game) as he posted zero points. Not to be out done TE Zach Miller also scored zero points just a week after it appeared he was the Raiders offense. Proving that they got the same memo the Cowboys defense posted zero points because they were up against the always dangerous Eli "Not Peyton" Manning. Here is the best part. All of these guys play for the Gusmeisters and they won the game.
The Bama Black Bears would receive -2 points from the Chargers defense because they went up against the potent Ravens offense...seriously? I know Joe Flacco is improved but they still don't have anything worth owning at WR and I would hope that even in a loss an NFL defense could keep them under 34 points. Willis McGahee scored 2 TDs! How the hell does anyone in the NFL let that happen!?

Telia Tequila could have started for the Chargers...not that many doubt she has already been passed around a few NFL locker rooms.

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#2 Turbo Techies-------------#9 Fergs

Too bad Ferg has not been around for Coach Wes' shit talking. Sadly these days the Fergs appear to be losing their dominance and the Turbo Techies have taken over the top spot. Even the Ferg Haters Club has gone quiet as Coach Wes fills the media with more crap than Lane Kiffin. The Ferg WR Kevin Walter was inactive for the game and inactive pretty much sums up the Fergs season to this point.

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#3 Ragin' Girth of Fury--------#10 Mallards

"Blackout Game of the Week" according to some people (some people being Wes). In truth this game was the REAL Game of the Week. The Mallards and Ragin' Girth of Fury (RGF) put on a great game that came down to the Monday Night Football game. Many of you have read this for years now and know that I won't trash a team that does not deserve it, and neither of these teams deserves it. A classic Appalachian Conference matchup in which both teams played well and both teams deserved to win, but both teams can't win because that would really complicate the standings. RGF put together a good run late in the game with Ronnie Brown but in the end their defense just gave up too many points and ended up costing them the game.

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#4 Tenn. Valley Vipers--------#7 Decepticons

A revenge game of sorts for the Vipers who were beaten by the Decepticons last year. If you have been reading this publication (boy I use that term loosely) this year you probably know that for some reason teams require me to write about Lance Moore every damn week. It all started when Lance Moore was drafted, not only by the Pineapple Express but by the fucking New Orleans Saints. I don't remember him doing a damn thing at Toledo (not that I hear anything about players from Toledo...which by the way is your first sign). He joins the Saints and after a few big games in which Colston was hurt he fell onto a fantasy roster this year. Not only has he been cut but he was then promptly picked up by another team and in a most baffling move placed on a starting roster. He rewarded the Decepticons delusional optimism by racking up a career typical zero points. The following is from Wikipedia regarding Lance Moore:

"CAREER HIGHLIGHTS AND AWARDS: N/A"

I could not disagree more, he has provided many highlights and received many awards from POTW.

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#6 Fatboys-------------------Frat-tastics

Time to realize that the Fatboys are a far cry from that team Byrd use to run. The Fatboys at this rate could be a real threat to win the PAC-4 as they posted another impressive victory in week 2 to move their record to 2-0. Coach Askew has worked for weeks to improve the Frat-tastics running game and now we see why. Rookies LeSean McCoy and Knowshon Moreno outscored starters Chester Taylor and Kevin Faulk, who are fantasy desperation hall of famers. You can always tell which team is struggling with their running game simply by looking at who has Chester Taylor and/or Kevin Faulk (since often times they can be found together on anemic fantasy rosters). While both of them are able to produce decent points it is more often they will be cut about 5 or 6 times during the season only to be added to other players rosters 6 or 7 times.

Insert Chester Taylor/Kevin Faulk here

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#8 Steel Dragons--------------Pineapple Express

The Pineapple Express looked to get back on track (or at least to the tracks) after a rough start in week 1. I guess it should not surprise us that a game between Plousis and Overton would, at the very least, be entertaining. The Steel Dragons went into the Monday Night game with a decent lead and needed only to keep Dallas Clark in check...Clark promptly went 80 yards for a TD on the very first play of the game. The Steel Dragons still held the lead even after that but Clark was too much as the fact that Wayne was triple covered and the Colts don't really have anything else worth throwing to means that a slow white TE can rack up 31 points in that offense. While it does not take away from the exciting matchup it should be pointed out that the Steel Dragons started something called a "Brian Robiskie" at WR. POTW is still not sure what that is but it sounds like a stiff drink. Whatever the hell it is it is not something that scores any fantasy points.
UPDATE: Brian Robiskie is apparently not a drink at all. It is a former Ohio State WR...which explains why it can't be counted on in big games.

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Baconators----------------------da Bears

Much was expected from these two teams coming into the season but after poor showings in week 1 there were much more concerns. da Bears put those concerns to rest with a strong showing across the board. Brandon Jacobs struggled for them and they still won big so just imagine what could happen if he gets going. The Baconators on the other hand were beaten like a rented mule for the second week in a row. It is really hard to look over this roster and find one play who is easily more worthless than the others but Jamaal Charles' zero point performance jumps out at me. It turns out the Chiefs listed Charles as inactive for the game, but that is not the best part. Charles was asked about being listed on the inactive roster for the game on Sunday and he said, "I don't know. I have no idea why I was inactive." Awesome. I can imagine showing up to the game and the coach says, "Oh by the way you are not playing today." The best part about this is that Charles scored 17 points in week 1 via catches and return yards. I'm not sure if the Kansas City Chiefs wonder why they suck so bad but stuff like this has a lot to do with it I'm sure. I guess it is possible that Charles violated some team rule or is a discipline problem and we don't have the entire story. If he is a discipline problem that just makes him a much better fit for the Baconators.

See you after week 3...